“I’ve discovered magnificence within the whimsically unusual.” ~Elissa Gregoire
The pervasive message of our time asserts that success is important in each side of life, be it schooling, profession, friendships, or relationships. Within the relentless pursuit of success, many people toil ceaselessly, ingrained with the assumption that triumph is the gateway to happiness.
Rewind three many years to after I was ten, and the emphasis was on excelling in class. Household, lecturers, and even motion pictures emphasised the narrative that good grades equated to happiness.
The equation was easy: good grades led to an excellent job, monetary stability, an incredible accomplice, and happiness. I clung to this method, apart from a briefly rebellious part in faculty when momentary enjoyable felt extra essential than grades. Quickly sufficient, I recalibrated my focus.
Reflecting again, I want I may have suggested my youthful self that straight A’s don’t assure success or an instantaneous stellar job however, extra importantly, a content material life.
I don’t harbor regrets about discovering this later; nevertheless, I’d have spared myself pointless stress over a single B-, considering it signaled the demise of my promising future.
I secured an honest job as a social employee in my skilled life. Whereas the monetary rewards had been modest, I used to be serving to individuals, which I at all times wished to do.
I gained happiness from serving to individuals, as evidenced by glowing yearly evaluations from my supervisors. But, the fact of working with adults grappling with psychological well being and substance abuse points challenged the traditional markers of success. The transformation I envisioned for my shoppers didn’t materialize on a broad scale. Solely two shoppers graduated from excessive faculties and located jobs in my three years, a comparatively meager success fee by my grading requirements.
Following my transient interval as a social employee, I delved into my ardour for writing. This endeavor proved to be some of the disheartening skilled experiences. Rejections outnumbered any I had confronted beforehand.
Regardless of the setbacks, I stayed resilient, recognizing that success in writing typically hinges on likelihood and luck. I’m decided to not abandon my pursuit of writing as a result of I really feel assured that perseverance will ultimately tilt the chances in my favor. It’s only a matter of time.
Whereas higher-ups could have expressed dissatisfaction, getting printed drew reward. The dichotomy of rejection versus acceptance raises the query of whether or not one success outweighs quite a few failures. Does public recognition invalidate private setbacks?
Friendships thrived till my late thirties, however they underwent a shift after I moved to Indiana. Prior successes in sustaining a various group of mates diminished, leaving me with acquaintances however no deep connections I craved. Whether or not because of the pandemic, my age, or the placement, I encountered my first failure in forming significant friendships.
Taking a look at all spheres of my life, I’ve walked a path of average success.
I’ve hovered between not excelling and never faltering massively, settling into a snug averageness. The stress to outperform these round me is at all times current, however I’ve realized the futility of unending comparability. Striving for greatness is admirable however invitations overwhelming stress and overwork.
Being okay with being common doesn’t imply I’m lazy or don’t have any targets. I do know some individuals will at all times be higher than me, and a few can be much less expert. However making an attempt to be one of the best doesn’t need to imply I’m at all times harassed.
In the end, my journey has been one among navigating the center floor and avoiding extremes. I haven’t soared to nice heights, however I’ve discovered contentment in averageness. Whether or not it’s schooling, profession, friendships, or writing, pursuing excellence ought to coexist with accepting private authenticity and avoiding the lure of incessant comparability and overbearing expectations.
Opposite to societal conditioning, being common isn’t undesirable. The happiest individuals typically reside on a regular basis lives, having fun with time with household and mates with out always chasing fame or fortune.
Selecting an easier life as a substitute of regularly competing has made me a lot happier.
There’s one thing extraordinary about simply being unusual and having peace of thoughts. However it looks like everybody’s at all times pushing for “extra.” Why, when true happiness comes from appreciating what we now have and ignoring the stress to at all times attempt for one thing larger?
Is there ever a conclusion to the ceaseless pursuit of outperforming others? I don’t suppose so.
After 4 many years, I’ve turn out to be content material with who I’m and the place I stand. Not entangled within the net of comparability or the pursuit of outdoing others, I discover pleasure in merely current the place I’m.
I used to really feel like I needed to be higher than everybody else, however that stress is gone now. I’m way more relaxed and at peace, one thing I by no means felt when always making an attempt to be one of the best. I’m proud of the place I’m now, and I’m having fun with studying about issues that curiosity me. I really like this new feeling of calm and am grateful for the experiences that helped me lastly settle for myself. I’m lastly at a spot of real self-acceptance.
About Anjana Rajbhandary
Anjana Rajbhandary is an Ayurvedic Well being Trainer and Licensed Psychological Well being Skilled with a ardour for holistic wellness. When she’s not writing or instructing, you will discover her exploring new cultures, having fun with reside music, or spending high quality time together with her beloved rescue pet, Sloane. Go to her at anjyrajy.com, on Medium, and on Instagram.
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