“Rule your thoughts, or it would rule you.” ~Buddha
I was trapped in a cycle of overthinking, replaying previous errors, worrying in regards to the future, and mentally holding onto each thought, simply as I bodily held onto previous garments, books, and my baby’s outgrown toys.
The concern of letting go—whether or not of bodily objects or persistent ideas—felt overwhelming. However I didn’t notice that this behavior of psychological hoarding was preserving me caught in place.
The Nervousness of Letting Go—My Final Day of College
Certainly one of my earliest experiences with psychological hoarding occurred on my final day of college in 1996 earlier than my tenth-grade board exams. When my class instructor wished us “All the easiest, kids, in your board exams,” I immediately realized—it was my final day at school. This thought had by no means crossed my thoughts earlier than, and it hit me exhausting.
I’d spent over a decade there—eleven or twelve years—rising up, laughing, studying, crying, sharing tiffins, and dwelling by each second with my buddies. The concept I might by no means return to that life left me feeling overwhelmed with anxiousness and disappointment.
On that day, after I returned residence, I couldn’t eat lunch, nor may I sleep nicely. I clutched my pillow tightly, as if I may cease time from shifting ahead. I stored replaying all of the moments, all of the recollections. The playground the place I ran and performed, the faucet I used to drink water from, the desk the place I sat each single day, the blackboard the place I nervously wrote solutions. However what actually gutted me was I might by no means see a few of my buddies once more.
Again then, there was no Fb or Instagram to keep up a correspondence. Should you missed a day at college, you needed to ask somebody in particular person what occurred, what they did over the weekend, and what their summer time trip was like. College was the one technique to keep linked. I felt like I used to be shedding part of myself.
I missed my night’s Taekwondo apply. I didn’t even have the vitality for dinner. I simply went to mattress, however my thoughts was stressed, spinning.
The following morning, I wakened at 3 a.m. I didn’t know why, however I felt like I wanted to run. So, I dragged myself to the stadium the place I used to coach. I ran with all my power, threw punches and kicks into the air, and let loose loud screams with every motion.
Sweat drenched my physique, however I didn’t really feel drained. As an alternative, I felt the strain leaving my physique. As I sat on the bottom, watching the primary rays of the dawn, I noticed that point doesn’t cease for anybody. Each ending is a brand new starting.
This was the primary time I actually understood the facility of motion and mindfulness in releasing emotional baggage. I had been hoarding recollections, however by bodily partaking with my feelings—by working, punching, and embracing the brand new day—I let go of the stiffness in my thoughts.
This was my first lesson on the age of fifteen: that typically, the toughest goodbyes deliver the lightest hearts.
Unanswered Questions—Studying to Let Go
In 2002, I confronted one other occasion of psychological hoarding, however this time it was about unanswered questions and emotional attachment.
There was a woman from my college days who had been greater than a pal. After college, we misplaced contact—there have been no cellphones or social media again then. For 5 to 6 years, I by no means thought of pursuing anybody else, all the time questioning what she would assume if I did. Her presence lingered in my thoughts, preserving me from shifting ahead.
Lastly, in 2002, after seven lengthy years, I went to the varsity the place she was working as a instructor. There was a operate taking place that day, and amidst the group, I gathered the braveness to suggest to her.
Tears stuffed her eyes as if she had been ready for that second, however she neither mentioned sure nor no. As an alternative, she spoke three traces, turned away, and left. I stood there, unable to maneuver, as if my ft have been rooted to the bottom. It felt like part of me had been left behind.
For days, I couldn’t focus on my research. My thoughts replayed these three traces again and again, looking for solutions that weren’t there.
In the future, whereas battling my ideas, I used to be hitting a tennis ball in opposition to a wall, misplaced in frustration. In anger, I hit it too exhausting, and it rebounded quicker than I anticipated. I jumped excessive to catch it, however after I landed, I felt a pointy ache—a hairline fracture in my proper foot. The physician put my leg in a solid, and for forty-five days, I used to be confined to my residence.
Throughout that point, I had no alternative however to take a seat nonetheless. With nothing else to do, I turned my focus completely to learning for my CA-Inter examination. As I immersed myself in my research, I seen one thing—the recollections of that day not haunted me. With out realizing it, I had stopped looking for solutions. I appeared for my examination quickly after my solid was eliminated and handed efficiently.
On the age of twenty-two or twenty-three, I discovered a profound lesson: Some questions don’t have solutions, and the extra we chase them, the extra they eat us. The bottom line is to cease looking for which means in each unanswered second and transfer ahead.
The Energy of Letting Go
A turning level got here throughout my company nine-to-five job. I felt like a fowl in a cage, determined to fly however held again by uncertainty. I wished to stop and begin my very own enterprise, however I spent two years mentally hoarding fears.
What if I fail? What about my monetary tasks to my spouse and three-year-old son? The fixed loop of overthinking paralyzed me. I lastly broke free in September 2012, after I stop my job and have become a sub-broker within the inventory market. Letting go of concern was liberating. I not needed to be answerable to anybody, and I had the liberty I had all the time dreamed of.
This expertise taught me that, identical to bodily muddle, psychological muddle retains us caught.
One other highly effective realization got here to me in 2020 when my son insisted on shopping for a 55″ sensible TV. I had been holding onto my previous CRT TV, the very very first thing I purchased with my revenue again in January 2006. It wasn’t simply an equipment—it was a logo of my early struggles and achievements.
I remembered how I had gone to Shimla for work in a pal’s automobile and excitedly bought it on the way in which. Although outdated, it nonetheless labored, and I clung to it, not due to its utility, however due to the recollections hooked up to it. Letting go felt like erasing part of my journey.
However in November 2020, I lastly gave it away to somebody in want and welcomed the brand new TV. It was solely then that I noticed that until you make house—whether or not in your house or your thoughts—new issues, new alternatives, and new methods of considering can not enter. This lesson prolonged past possessions; it utilized to ideas, regrets, and self-imposed limitations.
Remorse is a Waste of Time—Classes from Skilled Life
I began investing and buying and selling in 2009. Again then, I purchased shares that have been buying and selling in two figures and offered them after holding them for a couple of days or months at a 5-10% revenue. A decade later, a few of these shares have been buying and selling in 4 figures, and the considered what I may have gained was painful. The remorse of “What if I had held onto them?” haunted me.
However then, I mirrored and realized that each choice I made—each shopping for and promoting—was mine, primarily based on the circumstances on the time. Simply as some shares grew tremendously, others that when traded in 4 figures misplaced their worth fully. I’ve purchasers who name me day by day, expressing remorse about missed alternatives. They noticed a inventory at a decrease degree, hesitated to purchase, and later noticed it bounce by 25% or extra. The cycle of remorse is limitless.
Over time, I’ve educated myself to cease overthinking previous trades. Now, I focus solely on my current trades, whether or not I make a revenue or a loss. If a possibility presents itself at present, I act with out hesitation as a substitute of dwelling on missed probabilities.
This expertise taught me an essential lesson: If we can not change our previous choices, there isn’t a use in regretting them. As an alternative, we must always concentrate on what we are able to do now.
The Greatest Lesson—Accepting Life’s Impermanence
The largest lesson I discovered got here from an surprising place, one which I by no means imagined would go away such an impression. Within the northern a part of India, particularly in Punjab, the place I stay, there’s a competition referred to as Basant Panchami, celebrated with a lot pleasure and enthusiasm. It normally falls in January, and one of many key traditions is flying kites.
In 2018, the competition was on January twenty second, and the day earlier than, I went to the market with my youthful brother to purchase kites and strings. We have been each obsessed with flying kites since childhood, and that day, we have been thrilled, stuffed with laughter and pleasure. We spent the morning enjoying music, dancing, and flying kites collectively, identical to we had finished for years.
However what I didn’t know, what I may by no means have predicted, was that day can be the final time I might expertise this with my youthful brother. In June 2018, my brother left this world, and that was the second I totally grasped the burden of what I had misplaced.
From that day till the Basant competition in 2025, I stored the 19 kites we had purchased that day, unable to fly them, as a result of they jogged my memory of him. It felt like if I flew these kites, I’d in some way be letting go of the one piece left of him. Every year, because the spring competition got here round, I might maintain on to these kites tightly, preserving the reminiscence of the day we spent collectively.
However this 12 months, one thing modified. At the 2025’s Basant competition, I lastly let go. I flew these nineteen kites. As they soared within the sky, I noticed that we had purchased these kites to have fun, to get pleasure from life, and my brother would have wished me to do the identical.
Holding on to them, preserving them secure, was only a approach of avoiding the reality: life strikes on, and typically, the extra tightly you maintain on to one thing, the extra you lose within the course of. It jogged my memory that, just like the sand slipping out of your hand whenever you grip it too tightly, life too should be lived with openness and acceptance.
That realization hit me exhausting: life is sort of a shifting practice. We’re all passengers on that practice, and finally, every passenger leaves when their station arrives, whereas others proceed their journey. Each dwelling factor on this Earth will vanish at some point. Holding on to the previous, to recollections, to the “what ifs,” solely weighs us down.
I had been hoarding my ideas and feelings for thus lengthy, considering I may protect them and preserve them secure. However this lesson—by the act of lastly flying these kites—helped me notice how damaging overthinking might be.
It was time to cease hoarding my recollections and feelings. Life is continually shifting ahead, and holding on too tightly to what’s gone solely prevents me from having fun with the current.
I discovered that it’s okay to let go, to free myself from overthinking, and to embrace what is going on now. Similar to the kites within the sky, my brother’s reminiscence will all the time be with me, however I’ve to stay my life totally, with out concern of letting go.
The lesson I discovered is easy but profound: cease hoarding your ideas, free your self from overthinking, and permit your self to actually stay. Life strikes ahead, and so should we.
Ultimate Ideas
Freedom from psychological muddle is feasible. As soon as I let go of the ideas that not served me, I made house for readability, braveness, and development. And identical to my profession shift, I noticed the one technique to actually transfer ahead is to cease hoarding and begin dwelling.
About Mann Singh
Mann Singh is a flexible creator and entrepreneur obsessed with storytelling that conjures up, heals, and captivates. He writes throughout genres—from romance and marriage drama to crime thrillers and psychological mysteries. His printed works embody Collectively However Alone, A Homicide With no Physique, and Deception’s Endgame on Kindle. When not writing, he explores conscious dwelling and shares life classes drawn from private transformation, resilience, and emotional perception. Go to his Amazon web page right here.
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